In that kind of mood.

May 15th, 2008

I hate being in this state of mind.  Actually I love it.  The weather has been on a kind of edge here lately, raining and dark and I love every moment of those days because they are so infrequent in the desert.  It’s a funny thing, saying that the sun can depress you, but having sun 355 days a year will do that to you because of its constant unchanging perseverance.  So it puts me in that mood.   The only way I can describe it is melancholy but not sad, nostalgic but not bittersweet, empty but full of something like yearning but not needing.  It’s a creative and dangerous place to be.  I feel like drawing again, and I haven’t for 11 years.  I feel like pouring over old pictures and letters and maybe for the last time feeling something I don’t want to feel ever again.

Maybe I should just get drunk or watch a sad movie… or maybe both.

3 Comments »

  1. Aaron Said:

    on May 15, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    I’ll trade our rainy days for your sunny ones. If you’re interested. I’m not sure of the feasibility of such a trade, but I’ll let science worry about it.

  2. Noelle Said:

    on May 16, 2008 at 6:47 am

    A dark theatre sounds like a good cure for too much sun. But like Aaron, I’d happily trade you today. It’s gloomy out here, with no forecast of sun in the near future.

  3. Jenn(stilettoheights) Said:

    on May 16, 2008 at 6:50 am

    I felt like this the other day, I watched Titanic and sobbed…it was great.

    here in c-bus we have only 60 (or so) sunny days a year…we actually get more rain than Seattle…bet you didn’t know that, I know I did not.

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