(observations from 05.02.07)
August 18th, 2008
Oxygen tank, limping body
Dragging your weight with me
Please speak loudly, time took away the sound
Scream at me with your eyes
1917
Your mouth is moving but there are no words, he speaks to himself and leaves her out of it
“We’re not really into each other anymore”
Reading the pages of a second hand yellowed forgotten romance
Jeweled technology, sickeningly sweetened fingers grabbing wheel chair spokes, brace yourself, you’re dying
Crowd widens
Door swings open and shut, no one remembers Virginia Miles
July 22nd, 2008
That damned tag cloud strikes again… I think I’m getting sick.
We’ll see, power of positive thinking, that’s what I’m going to attempt this time.
I’ll let you know how it goes.
Filed under: Emotions, Etsy, Family, Food, blogging | Tags: blogging, David Cook, Eli Manning, Emotions, Etsy, Fij, Food, food porn, jenn, Mike, mother, Ricky, Sick, tag cloud, Work
July 18th, 2008
I don’t know who coined the phrase “food porn” but my sister gets the credit for introducing it to Mike and me. Ame’s a vegan so just about everything “consumable” fits into this category, and consumable, she’ll argue too. Food porn is fried, greasy, processed, sugary, evil and oh so good! The other week Mike turned our kitchen into a greasy spoon by throwing just about anything into a pot of oil turning out the best fried food this side of the Mississippi (seeing that the best fried food on the other side of the Mississippi happens to be found here.) We even considered frying the Twinkies but even I passed on that one. I don’t crave as much as I used to, I have an occasional hankering for something sinful and wrong, like eating at a chain restaurant… I know! We have all but ruled them out but I can’t say that I’m not excited to be going to one tonight. It almost makes up for having to attend something educational on a Friday night… can I bring my iPod? Can I text during it, please? I feel like a kid needing the promise of something heavenly at the end of something painful like having to go to the fabric store or the adult section of the public library… and I don’t mean adult like that, I mean like big ol’ dusty reference/microfiche section of the library.
* * *
I installed this new feature on my blog, it’s called a tag cloud, my friend Fij has it among others* and I thought it would be interesting. And it has been, to say the least. Maybe even eye opening, but not so much in a good way. There are those topics that I’m glad are there, like my Etsy shop name (yay), Mike’s name, Ricky’s name, Jenn’s Etsy shop (how sweet) and of course “David Cook” because I’m an obsessed crazy fan, but who’s really counting. Oddly, I guess I talked a lot about “Eli Manning”. Didn’t know that I had. But the one’s that really stick out for me are: sick, work, and emotions. Why aren’t happy, healthy, and feelings there? We are half way through the year and those are the highlights? Wait, I’m pleased with all of them through Eli, but after that… I’m sick of work, work makes me sick, and I’m emotional about it? Haven’t I been in that place for too long? A friend of mine turned it all around just a little while ago and he seems happier… I think. I mean, he’s so busy he doesn’t really update his blog anymore, as much anyway. So he assures me that he is well, and I believe him, he’s an adult and he can take care of his shit. And that’s my point, I’m not taking care of my shit.
I don’t know where this is coming from really. It started up again yesterday around midday. I knew something was in the air and then my mother called me almost near the end of my shift at work. Do I really want to air all of this here on my blog, f*ck yeah. This is my place, I don’t care how public it is… isn’t that the beauty of it all anyhow? I want to go on and on about how this was sh*tty and that was f*cked up, and how there was no love in my life for the better part of it… but where will that leave me? With more angry, sick, emotional tags popping up in my cloud. That damned cloud!
* * *
And that last thing… I don’t think that’s a good idea… and I’m not talking about an alcoholic bender (been there, survived that), I’m talking an emotional bender. I think I’m due.
June 19th, 2008
I got all of my terrible hair cut off today and got my six month color, it’s darker than usual and I like it. She put me under the dryer and I think I got a fever while I was under there. I haven’t felt right since. Then Mike and I went to In-and-Out Burger and all was right with the world. It really is all it takes. I’m definitely not sick any more, but I am feeling funky, like always ready to pass out funky. Maybe some peanut M&Ms will help.
June 16th, 2008
Blog 365 sometimes needs to take a back burner to CFS, that’s just the way it goes sometimes.
Filed under: Bad Day, blogging | Tags: American Idol, Bad Day, complaining, Sick, Work
May 27th, 2008
Yeah, so that was fun.
I haven’t had a comment in 4 posts.
I may have found something of question in/on my body this morning.
There’s no more American Idol to watch tonight or tomorrow night, for that matter.
I had to cut a bunch of people’s shifts today right after giving a bunch of people shifts today.
My hair is unruly and too long and I don’t have the money to get it cut/I put $40+ worth of gas into my car today, granted I only fill up once a month.
I just feel like complaining.
My latte wasn’t any good this morning and it was so expensive, I need to stop buying them.
That is all.
April 30th, 2008
-glass beads dropping in a dish hurt my ears and head.
-very dry throat and I can taste my tonsils, and yes, I know how gross that sounds/is.
-body so tired even though brain wants to craft.
-I watched a movie on my day off, something I never do because I feel like it wastes the day. Happened to be “Walk The Line” and I can’t figure out if I’m really in love with Johnny Cash the singer or Joaquin Phoenix the actor.
-all I want is juice and sleep.
April 12th, 2008
Work put me into such a physical coma yesterday that I literally worked and slept all day. Sometimes it does that to me and I wonder how I am even ever going to be equipped to have a kid when all I want to do is sleep because my body won’t make white blood cells like a normal person.
I’m tired of this battle, and that’s irony in itself.
Better post later, I owe it to myself.
March 11th, 2008
I’m coming out of the woods here, feeling better. Well, clean at least. I showered and all things considered I feel better.
Here’s a survey.
WELCOME TO THE 2008 EDITION OF GETTING TO KNOW YOUR FRIENDS.
THE THEORY IS: YOU WILL LEARN A LOT OF LITTLE THINGS ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE KNOWN. . .
1. WHAT TIME DID YOU GET UP THIS MORNING? 10 ish
2. DIAMONDS OR PEARLS? More pearls but not absolutely pearls because I like all sorts of beauties. But definitely not diamonds.
3. WHAT WAS THE LAST FILM YOU SAW AT THE CINEMA? Ummm, something good, I’m sure of it.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? This is so hard to answer. Currently I’m liking Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Faves include: Stargate Atlantis, Ghost Hunters, AI, DWTS, good stuff like that. Sci Fi and reality tv.
5. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY HAVE FOR BREAKFAST? Coffee
6. WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME? Ann without an E (sadly not like Anne Of Green Gables)
7. WHAT FOOD DO YOU DISLIKE? Soup; although I haven’t met too many foods I didn’t like.
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CD? Of all time? The Cure Disintegration. Right now? Thriller 25th anniversary edition.
9. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU DRIVE? Kia Spectra 2007. Ultimate Mom mobile.
10. FAVORITE SANDWICH? Reuben
11. WHAT CHARACTERISTIC DO YOU DESPISE? Stupidity.
12. FAVORITE ITEM OF CLOTHING? My sweater/coats.
13. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD ON VACATION, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? United Kingdom
15. FAVORITE BRAND OF CLOTHING? Can’t say that I have a favorite really. I wear AE because I have to. It isn’t well made, cut for a person my age, or my style. I do like the quality of the clothing at Ann Taylor Loft. I usually shop at NY&Co.
16. WHERE WOULD YOU RETIRE TO? Oh Jesus, probably Derry NH
17. WHAT WAS YOUR MOST MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY? 16th
18. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Football
19. FURTHEST PLACE YOU ARE SENDING THIS TO: IDK
21. PERSON YOU EXPECT TO ANSWER: IDK
22. FAVORITE SAYING? I have so many Tara-isms. Probably most heard from me, “I’m not a miracle worker.”
23. WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY? July 12
24. YOU A MORNING OR NIGHT PERSON? Night, but not too late.
25. WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE? 7 1/2
26. PETS? Sadie and Leo
27. ANY NEW AND EXCITING NEWS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE WITH US?
28. WHAT DID YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE? A fashion designer.
29. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Just trying to kick this killer flu/cold/epidemic/plague.
30. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CANDY? I don’t love candy, but if I had to choose I’ll take those strawberry hard candies grandmother’s usually have in their purses.
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER? Not a big favorite flower person, I don’t really have one.
32. WHAT IS A DAY ON THE CALENDAR YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO? June 21st
33. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Tara Ann Marchese
34. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The sounds of passing cars in the distance, the wind.
35. LAST THING YOU ATE? Little donuts.
36. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? No.
37. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Yellow.
38. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Nice, 74ish.
39. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? Dr Pepper.
40. FAVORITE RESTAURANT? McMahons.
41. SIBLINGS? Yes, older sister, younger brother
42. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Thanksgiving Day
43. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? Dolls and watercolors.
44. SUMMER OR WINTER: Summer
46. COFFEE OR TEA? Coffee
47. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate
48. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO E-MAIL YOU BACK? Of course.
49. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Ummm, I don’t remember.
50. WHAT IS UNDER YOUR BED? I don’t have an under the bed.
51. WHO IS THE FRIEND YOU’VE HAD THE LONGEST? My sister.
53. FAVORITE SMELL? Cinnamon and baking.
54. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? Drowning and fires. Not together obviously.
55. SALTY OR SWEET? Salty mostly, but there needs to be a balance.
56. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY CHAIN? 2 on mine, 6 or 7 on my store keys.
57. HOW MANY YEARS AT YOUR CURRENT JOB? 8 years, 3 months, and some days.
58. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK – Wednesday, is that weird?
59. HOW MANY TOWNS HAVE YOU LIVED IN? 3, but in many different places within those three.
60. DO YOU MAKE FRIENDS EASILY? I suppose.
March 10th, 2008
Thank you to everyone who has been leaving me their well wishes. It is helping my recovery.
I found a new TV delight. Why have I been avoiding it for so long? No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain on the Travel Channel. It’s a gem.
